Is Hyper-Individualism Destroying Community?

It's a major problem that has plagued society, especially in recent years. Everywhere I go, I am reminded of it. It is rampant in schools, the workplace, and even in local parks or coffee shops. If you haven't caught on by now, I'm talking about the hyper-individualist mindset that's cursing society.

I truly believe that this individualist mindset is destroying the way that people develop and maintain relationships, interact with each other, and engage with society at large. I believe that it all goes back to a famous quote that seems to get tossed around all too often: "you don't owe anyone anything."

I call bullshit.

Although I understand the importance of putting yourself first (to an extent) and not people-pleasing, this quote has created a generation of people who try to justify unhealthy emotional unavailability. Don't get me wrong -- healthy boundaries are essential, and we should all have them. However this quote has been twisted into a sick excuse for opting out of accountability and empathy. Communities are built on cooperation, mutuality, and reciprocity -- not isolation and a lack of responsibility. We all have a responsibility to contribute to our communities, whether that be physically, socially, emotionally, or civically. Because the truth is, you are a part of the structure of society. It isn't just something that you can choose to be a part of or choose to leave. It is ingrained within you.

Not everything you do, or everyone you meet will provide you with extreme benefits and no losses. Everything - and everyone - involves some form of sacrifice. Too often, people view relationships as a "cost-benefit" situation, choosing their relationships based on what people can do for them, what they can get out of them, and how often they can get this. Real, human relationships have become commodified, and  that's a sad trend to witness.

Additionally, a hyper-focus has been placed on self-optimization, and unfortunately, what coincides with this is a rapid decline in mental health. Everyone wants to focus on independence while forgetting that interdependence is what truly allows humans and communities to thrive. People are hesitant to reach out to others, ask for help, and ask for favours -- which is simply ridiculous. We should be able to ask our friends for drives to the airport, help moving into apartments, and phone calls when we are struggling. Authentic relationships are not always comfortable, but that isn't the point. 

The truth is, hyper-individualism is collectively making us lonelier. It has created a deep disconnect between people, and has resulted in a decline of communal spaces, support networks, and strong friendships. It discourages transparency, openness, and the genuine rawness that should be a part of every relationship. People now view this as a means of creating obligations, unwanted emotional labour, and hindrances. And if these don't benefit someone -- they are quick to cut off that relationship like they are an app that can be uninstalled with one single tap.

We need to stop seeing people as advantages or disadvantages, and just see them as people. They can be both good and bad, helpful and unhelpful - and yes, might require some help from you at times. But being needed and needing is essential for communities to thrive. Offering your time and support isn't optional, and asking for help isn't showing weakness. We need people to stick around when the going gets tough, because that's how we move forward, develop, and get better together.


Until next time,

PiscesPonderings ♓












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